SLAPPAN GAEMS

It's always time for Adventure Time





This pretty much sums up what it is like for me to do anything

Always bring your fanny pack ;)

I've found my niche, now nothing else will do it for me.

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Ottawa University, Site
02:37
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Paul "Louis" LeBlanc sits alone in a darkened hall, the only light eminating from the computer monitor before him.

"That stupid fuxxing fux Tim thinks he's so goddam kewl! I bet he thinks he's cock of the walk...but guess what...he's cock of nothing! No wait...scratch that...he's a cock...yeah thats right Paul let the anger flow, take all your creative energy and put it together to make the most awsomest, most bad ass blawg the internet has ever known! That loli loving bitch aint got jack on this cat...no...he's got jack all! Jack all...yeah...I bet he LOVES to "jack all" if you know what I'm saying."

-"I know what you're saying Paul, I hear you...make him pay..."

"Hah, I knew you would understand."





"You can't tell me what to do you lowly guard you! Fear my mad haxxor powers. I could totally 0wn you at Counter-Strike amirite?!"

"Sir I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about, but if you are unwilling to cooperate I am authorized to use force if neccesary."

"I just need more time so I can write my update about that ballsack Timo-"

"You know Tim?! THE Tim? Well then, carry on. Sorry for disturbing you."

The noble security guard, lost in thought of summers past with his good friend Timothy, begins to step out of the room, leaving the lights on.

"Stop!"

"! Pardon?"

"...Turn the lights back off."

"...Yes sir..."

The brave security guard leaves Paul to his brooding.

"That dickbag Tim! That assmaster bastard Tim! If I had the chance I'd lick his ass...no wait...KICK his ass...yes that's it."

-"It's okay Paul, I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

"Don't you start! You knew what I meant. That he-man, that adonis...that cadillac of man flesh...why I wish he was an animal so I could tame that wild beast..."

-"Paul...what are you talking/thinking about?"

"QUIET! I have some serious thinking to do..."





A great deal of time had passed since Paul had last been checked on by security, absolutely absorbed by his work, Louis had lost all track of time. The time was now 06:50 and Timothy, the hero of this story, was just showing up to Site in order to open its doors to a whole new day of bright faced youngsters.

"Hey Paul, what the hell are you doing here? I thought you had a compter at ho...why aren't you wearing any pants? Or clothes at all for that matter?"

"Uuuh Tim well you see...its like this...uuuh...Happy Birthday Tim, I was hoping to surprise you, but well, here I am."

"...I'm flattered Paul...but not only don't I swing that way but I'm also married to the sea. Plus I have certain internet addictions..."

"I can be your loli Tim! You see! I can put this wig on and now I look like a 12 year old girl...please give me a chance Tim! Pleeaase!!"

The heat of the moment proves to be too much for Paul to handle and he faints at Tim feet, laid out in drag.

So I'm coming back from the NYC, straight outta Harlem, and what happens? I hear that there has been some trouble a 'brewing in the internet blawgosphere thanks to some chumps messing around where they shouldn't be. Well let me say now that there can only be one internet King, god knows there's only room for one. It's on bitches, it is so TOTALLY on. I've been to HARLEM man, I spent like 20 minutes there getting some Dr. Pepper and a subway map, its in my blood now, don't fux with me.








That's how my 3rd lawsuit happened. It's gonna be a long summer, I better not end up spending all my money on bail :((((((((

300 is awesome, and now everyone can enjoy it!!

Deep down in everyone is the potential for enlightenment; we all have lovingkindness and compassion in our hearts. Within all of us is the capacity for change. It was this that occurred to me as I watched an advertisement for John Madden’s NFL ’08, which now includes the ability to gang tackle. Perhaps now the cynics will finally be able to recognize videogames as the art that they are.

“I just think that we should be allowed to wear skirts on the job.” I say to my supervisor, Rick. A stickler for work dress-code policy, Rick upholds the McDonalds policy and denies me my right to express myself on the job. God I wish I never saw Showgirls as a child.

While in line for a ‘shake I overheard the conversation between the two people ahead of me, they were discussing relationship issues they’d been having. Normally I’m not one to intrude in on other people, but the tight constricting feeling of my low-cut, size 30/32 jeans made me opinionated. I could not remain silent. It was just then that I realized that I always got the vanilla shake even though I always wanted to try the strawberry.

I came to unknown amount of time later; I must have had another one of my episodes. Being a Gemini is kinda like being pregnant without the paid leave. I hope I didn’t hurt anyone, I was still on probation for that stunt I pulled at Chippendales. A Martini is not a Manhattan, they are spelled differently no matter how you pronounce them. My knuckles were bruised and cut up, evidence of a skuffle, what an odd word. Looking around it appeared that I was on the South Jersey Shore, I take a few steps towards the waters edge only to find a skeleton with a comb glued to its face. I’m in my back yard.

Beneath the rubble of the frozen temple to blasphemous deities lie the offerings to our gaping god, homage to the goat. In silent respect I pick up the bottle caps and roaches and throw them in my neighbours pool as a sad observation of the pollution to our worlds oceans. Weary from my duties, I go inside for a drink.

“What do you know about girls!?” he responds to me. They go back to their conversation and I go back to mentally arranging my Gundam collection by order of similarity to Mind Blowin’ by Van Winkle. It is then that I realize that there are realities upon realities, and that I as a concept am an illusion.

“Hi, can I take your order?”

“No thanks, I just ate.”

Sorry, I still have exams to work through. I've finished the storyboard for my comic and now it's a question of making it (I'm not entirely sure how I will illustrate it). Other than that I'm on my way to becoming a Buddhist and here is some internet awesomeness for you:

Currently going through a little detox from my "Reading Week". I will update soon with a new comic, it's a little different though. Still have exams to think about so it's hard to find the time to create stuff for thankless ingrates (you). Have a nice day :)


Edit:

I plan on drinking fire shots tonight, if it turns out to look theatrical enough I'll post some pictures maybe. Skin grafts have never been so worth it.

Update:

Cheers

The time has come. There is only so much madness a mind can bare without bending beyond salvation. All is bleak, all is grim, this world no longer possesses meaning. All is lost. I wish there was a life preserver to grab onto, an escape from this vortex of emptiness.

But wait

What’s this?…

Before I was hollow, a husk of the man I aspired to be, but now there is a chance, a chance for sanity. From the northern ashes I shall erect my sanctuary. For I shall enter it a boy and leave a man. I shall retreat into my icy cocoon.

Outside, a world of chaos; within these walls, a realm of happiness, of peace, of inebriation.

I built a snow fort. It is the Koff chamber.

No Fatt chix

Tags: bleak, dismal, emo, mudkips, snow, tragedy, wtc, wtf